


Bouquet Toss

by Chellodello



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: AU where the wedding doesn't get crashed, Competition is flirting, Could be read as friendship but I won't be happy about it, F/F, Humor, Post-Episode 'Made of Honor', Saltmates, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 03:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15186191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chellodello/pseuds/Chellodello
Summary: "Catching the bouquet is not a competition Peridot. But if it was, I’d win.”Or;Pearlidot? At my wedding? It's more likely than you'd think.





	Bouquet Toss

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in a whirlwind hours after watching 'Made of Honor' knowing full-well that it would be non-canon in a few hours. I will make Pearlidot out of anything, A N Y T H I N G.

[ ](https://imgflip.com/i/2dhyjo)

-

 

In retrospect, it was her own fault for telling Peridot about this tradition at all. Pearl should have known better, she knows how competitive the small gem could be, just as competitive as herself. And she should doubly know not to say something vaguely contest-sounding around Amethyst who  _ thrived  _ on confrontation and would certainly gas up people to make them fight.

But well, here they are.

“You’re going to feel so foolish when I catch this flower cluster and you don’t.” Peridot sneers, absolutely sure of herself.

Pearl scoffs exaggerates looking down at her. “It’s called a bouquet and I don’t know how you're going to even see it, let alone catch it from down there.” 

“OHHHHHH PEARL’S GOT JOKES NOW!” Amethyst cackles and falls back into the sand, ruining the suit that Pearl spent so much time pressing. If she was being honest she’s surprised it made it even made it through the ceremony in one piece. 

Peridot gives her a sour look from over her shoulder. “Wow, jokes about my height, how creative. You’re truly a cut above the rest.” She unfolds her arms and smooths out invisible lines in her canary yellow dress. Peridot wasn’t able to shape-shift just yet so it had fallen to Pearl to find something suitable for her to wear to the wedding. Luckily, Connie had a few dresses she had only recently grown out of that fit their newest Crystal Gem well enough. “I don’t need height to catch this ‘bouquet’ I’ve had a plan in action this whole time, it’s brilliant really.”

Yellow really did look lovely on Peridot and under normal circumstances she would have told her as much, but unfortunately Pearl was much more interested in taking the smug technician down a few pegs than doling out compliments. Pearl rolls her eyes instead. “Let me guess, you slipped some metal into the flowers are are going to bend it down to you?”

Peridot sputters and blushes blue under her visor. Nailed it. “That’s not! I wasn’t goin- ugh Who told you?!” she spin and kicks more sand onto Amethyst who only laughs harder. “You traitor!” 

“Peridot, I’m pretty sure we all knew that was your plan.” Connie chimes in. Pearl’s never been more proud of her pupil. Honestly if Peridot thought she needed Amethyst to see through her shallow plans than she wasn’t as smart as she thought she was. 

Peridot sulks as Amethyst slings an arm over her shoulders. “Don’t take it too hard Peri, you know Pearl is mad competitive about this stuff.”

Pearl preens, choosing to take that as a compliment instead of an insult. “Oh hush, it’s not a competition.”

It definitely is though and Pearl is going to win it.

At the head table Bismuth boosts Ruby onto her shoulders and hands her the bouquet. The red gem closes her eyes and gets ready throw the flowers into the crowd. 

Pearl can’t help but rub salt in the proverbial wound though and leans down to whisper “And even if it was a competition, you never stood a chance against me.”

The guests cheer as Ruby chucks the bouquet into the crowd. Pearl takes in the trajectory of the flowers, knowing she’ll be able to reach around Kiki and Sadie to grab it easily, right over Peridot’s head. She really really loves winning.

She loves the feeling of winning so much that she never suspects the tiny green and yellow body that barrels into her just as her fingers graze the bottom of the bouquet. 

Pearl is quite literally, swept off her feet. “Ooff-!”

The mouthful of sand and the armful of Peridot that she gets are both unwanted and unappreciated, as is the obnoxious laughter that accompanies both. Well, there went her pressed suit as well.

“Nyehheheheheh, you clod, you fell for it!” Peridot crows and once stars stop swimming in her vision Pearl sees that instead of holding the bouquet in her hands, she’s holding Peridot, who is holding the bouquet in her grubby little fingers. “I knew you were going to underestimate me!” 

Amethyst plops down besides them and pounds the sand in some kind of gesture she picked up in her pro-wrestling days. “1, 2,3 P1 is down! Dang Pearl she plaaaaaaaaaaaayed you.”

Peridot wiggles and  kicks her feet in joy as the wedding guests clap and it’s Pearl’s turn to sputter on bright tufts of yellow hair. “How on Earth did you-!” 

Peridot doesn’t bother moving from her spot plastered to Pearl’s front as she explains in a haughty tone. “As if I’d do something so obvious as metal bend this flower cluster. Please I wasn’t excavated yesterday.”

“Bouquet.” Connie corrects. But she’s smiling. “And technically you both both caught it since Pearl caught you. Congratulations.”

Pearl pales to a sickly shade of skim milk as Connie’s meaning dawns on her. The rest of the crowd raise their various refreshments and chime their own congratulations.

Pearl wills the sand to swallow her whole. She could do it too, one flick of her wrist and they’d all be buried head over heels in sand particles. If this event wasn’t so important to her friends she’d do it too.

“I don’t get it.” Peridot says looking over he shoulder at Pearl, her little brows furrowed. “Congratulations on what?”

“You both caught the bouquet!” Steven says as he makes his way over to them, the new married couple at his side. Ruby hikes up her dress with each step and Sapphire is looking at them with a queer tilt to her head. “That means you’re the next to get married.” Steven explains with a smile.

“What!?” Peridot screeches

“I told you you didn’t want to to catch it.” Pearl mutters as she gets back on her feet, Peridot still firmly in her grasp even when said gremlin elbows her in the gut. Brat. “I will drop you.” She threatens knowing that she wouldn’t.

Peridot considers this for a moment and plucks at a hibiscus petal idly, flicking it into Pearl’s gem. She’s apparently content to be held if it means she gets to keep her prize and after a moment of consideration she announces “Despite Pearls obvious flirting she could ever land a gem like me.”

Before Pearl is able to retort that she was light years out of Peridot’s league, she was once the companion to a Diamond for stars sake, Sapphire unexpectedly chimes in on the matter. 

“It’s a more likely future than you’d think.” She says with a shrug. “Congratulations in advance.”

This time, Pearl really does drop her. 


End file.
